my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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