He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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