No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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