oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
