Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
