i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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