Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
