OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
