Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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