The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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