who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
