I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
