I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
