My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
