i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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