help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
