is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
