it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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