It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
