Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
