She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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