4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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