bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
