You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
