Sponge bath it is.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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