im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
