blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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