there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
