I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
