ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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