when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
