I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
