you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
