her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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