I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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