So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just high enough for therapy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
