she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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