You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
