We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
