Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
