their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize