You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
