I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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