he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
