Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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