I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
