I got chris browned last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
