The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
