I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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