So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
